In The Flesh

So, I have been to the other side and back. This weekend, PENO and I stood face to face and I have returned from the experience more confident than ever that Operation: DOUBLE BROTHERS will succeed and that ultimately, PENO is an unworthy adversary for my brother.

A short list of Jon's weaknesses*:

- not over 6' tall
- not my brother
- hairline does not appear to be receding
- no discernible bow staff skills
- does not know how to spell "John"
- was willing to DD

Possible causes for concern:

- was able to identify 2 out of 3 relatively obscure artists that were playing in my car
- extremely helpful in getting ready for the Grad Party (this is not just a threat to Operation: Double Brothers but also a potential threat to the status quo that I've established over the last six years of being as little help as possible - could result in image downgrade for me)
- has college degree/is gainfully employed in the city where Chris' wants to live
- was willing to DD

In addition to my meeting PENO, Daniel was also present at the Grad Party and was introduced to PENO. Unfortunately, my dad and Daniel got a flat tire on the way down to the party (which I'm sure was a joy to take care of on a 90 degree day in the early afternoon) and they were only there for literally ten minutes. As a result, the amount of interaction between PENO and Dan was severely limited. What's worse is that, despite talking a big game, (he texted me prior to his arrival that "PENO better watch his ass when I get there") their interaction was almost completely civil. Dan did at least act like he was disgusted when he found out that the hamburger he was eating had been prepared by PENO.

My dad, brother and I all had to leave shortly after their arrival to go to a wedding in Dayton (to which we were fifteen minutes late). During the reception, Dan texted Chris the following: "I'm at a wedding and just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you." This was very amusing to me at the time. I spent the rest of the time at the wedding trying to think of inappropriate pieces of marital advice for the newlyweds, then preparing myself to deliver that advice but then ultimately chickening out. After the wedding, I went home to my parents house, watched The Jerk and wrestled with dogs. Great night.



*This list is far from complete and is intended merely to serve as a sampling of the many things wrong with Jon.