I suck at blogging.

I knew this would happen. Many times over the past couple weeks I said to myself, "I should update my blog before I forget everything." Did I do that? NO. Ultimately, I guess very few people really care about my lack of blogging or lack of documentation of the road trip. The road trip blog was essentially completely self serving so that I made sure I didn't forget everything. I suppose I've accomplished that given that I did a pretty good job of documenting the first half of the trip (whether it was on time or not). There is still a ton more to tell. I'm going to attempt some diarrhea of the keyboard here and see how far I get.

So, when last I left you, dear readers, the wife and I were leaving Palm Springs to head to Vegas. This was my first time in Las Vegas (or the state of Nevada for that matter [NEW STATE!!!!]) and for many years I had mixed feelings about making the trip. These feelings ranged from being convinced that I could never stand Vegas because of all the fake shit (doesn't the fact that they have all this fake stuff from other places say something about the quality of the actual place?) and all the people who must hate their jobs and all the people selling their souls to casinos for a chance at becoming a millionaire. And then another part of me gets excited about all that stuff.

So, it was with these feelings brewing inside me that we arrived at the Econolodge in Vegas (on Las Vegas Blvd but not technically the strip). There was a pool out front and there was not a body floating in it so things were looking up. Needless to say, this place was quite the contrast from the place we stayed at in Palm Desert. But, it had four walls and a roof and beds so we were not in a position to complain.

Our first night, we headed out to explore the strip a little bit. We parked at the Bellagio where we endured a thorough security check point ("How you folks doing tonight?" "Fine." "Have a good time.") We hit a lot of the highlights: Bellagio, Venetian (fake canal - yay!), Mirage (yay volcano show!) and our personal favorite - TI (formerly known as Treasure Island). TI has apparently shed its once family friendly image in favor of a more risque, sexy and sultry vibe complete with sexy pirate show in the man made lagoon (Sirens' Cove) out front. Kate and I had read in our dorky guide book that the Sirens of TI was laughably bad and not to be missed. So, we waited around playing penny slots for the slated start time. When we walked out to the cove, we were disappointed to learn that the evening's show had been canceled due to weather and some bullshit about not wanting to burn the casino down. So, we went home slightly disappointed and went to bed.

The next morning, we got up and went to get Kate a tattoo in celebration of passing the bar (many things have been done/purchased in celebration of this feat over the last six weeks). While waiting for Kate's tattoo artist (with whom Kate heavily flirted to show that she was a cool tattoo chick), we were lucky enough to witness a fantastic specimen of humanity in the lobby. There was a guy wearing sandals, jeans shorts and a Papa Roach concert t-shirt tucked into the aforementioned jean shorts. Within thirty seconds of arriving and while talking to the receptionist, he pulls a comb out of his back pocket and proceeds to groom himself; slicking his hair back to eliminate any remaining doubt that he is indeed a bad mother fucker. He then proceeds to have a few loud cell phone conversations in the lobby and drops a racial slur in one of them. He was a cool guy, though.

After the tattoo, we were in a Walgreens to buy Kate some unscented soap and lotion with which to clean her wound (the perfumes in scented soaps/lotions can cause irritation) when Kate was approached by a woman. The following conversation took place:

Random Lady: "Oh, wow. Are you just getting that removed or is it new?"

Kate: "I just got it." (Thinking: Well, you can still see it so it's certainly not removed but thanks for making me think that your first reaction was that it looks like something no one would want on their body.)

RL: "Are those scales?"

K: "Yeah, like the scales of justice."

RL: "Oh, do you work in a doctor's office?"

After that golden interaction, we regrouped in the hotel room for a picnic dinner and gathered our strength for the night ahead. We enjoyed a couple cocktails in the hotel room and then hopped on the "Deuce" (that's the unfortunate name they chose for their double decker public buses). Our plan was to try to hit all the ridiculous casinos/attractions. Our first stop: the roller coaster at Sahara. At $10/person, the price tag was a little steep but the fun we had combined with the savings we made on the $1 Miller High Lifes and $1 Kamikaze shots, we got our money's worth. Kate, making it her mission to stomp on all my dreams and rain on all my parades, refused to let me attempt the 6 lb burrito challenge (it's free if you finish it!) but I guess that just gives us a reason to come back...

We then headed over to Circus Circus/Slots-a-fun which was kind of a disappointment aside from the African Acrobats show - that shit is crazy after a few drinks.

Our next stop was another visit to TI in hopes of actually seeing the Sirens. We played penny slots and I drank a margarita out of a giant golden mug shaped like a skull while we waited. Tonight, the show did go on. And what a show it was. The show featured an epic battle between the Sirens and the crew of a pirate ship who had lost a shipmate to the sirens (much to his feigned chagrin). In order to rescue their comrade, the pirates fired their canons while the Sirens defended themselves with......song (guess who wins). This special effects extravaganza was packed with songs, shitty, half assed dancing and enough sexual innuendos to sink a pirate ship. In short, it was FANTASTIC.

We spent the rest of the night bouncing from casino to casino in search of cheap drinks. A little after midnight, we headed downtown to the really old casinos on Fremont St. in search of drunk food which was harder than anticipated to locate. Eventually, we got cheesesteaks in a shady looking restaurant in a past-its-prime casino and headed home.

All in all, I had a great time in Vegas and I think it was largely due to the limited amount of time we spent there. After a bit, I'm sure that all the stuff that I mentioned would start to wear on me but given a short window of time and the right attitude, you can have a great time.