Speed Bumps

Yesterday mroning, as we were getting our shit together to organize ourselves for Cancun, Kate can't find her passport. No big deal. It's gotta be here somewhere, right? Nope. It doesn't have to be here somewhere. After searching through every bag three times, searching through our "important stuff" receptacles about 8 times, we conclude that the passport does NOT have to be here somewhere. No big deal. It must have gotten packed along with our other stuff back in AA. We can call the storage facility, ask them to look for it and overnight it to us so that we don't have to drive 3.5 hours each way to root through the boxes ourselves. I call Kristie, the woman who had helped facilitate our move, and explain the situation. She is more than accomodating and actually suggested that she personally do the searching and overnight the passport WHEN she finds it before we mentioned it. Great. She tells us it is going to take a bit of time to get into "the vault" (as it's apparently called...probably just to make us feel more secure about leaving all of our possessions in the custody of strangers) and that there is a $32 fee to open it after it has been sealed. No big deal. Certainly, my time is worth more than $5/hr. So, in the mean time, we are anxiously awaiting her phone call all afternoon ahd hoping that she finds it in time to overnight it so that it arrives here Friday. We're also calling the State Department and exploring every possible avenue on the internet. The new passport card is only for land and sea travel - that's out. Kate calls the passport service line and can't talk to a human. The next available appointment in Detroit is on August 27 - that doesn't work for us. We're also quadrupling checking all our bags, searching all the nooks and crannies of the car and Kate is spending a lot of time crying and feeling stupid. Around 2:30 PM, our hearts fill with hope when the phone rings. It's Kristie. YAY!!!!

"Thomas, guess what I have in my hand."

"I hope it's a passport."

"It is! Is your wife Katherine Anne?"

"Um, sort of..."

I'm now realizing what has happened. Kate is no longer Katherine Anne... Kristie has found Kate's old passport. The one that has been made obsolete this summer when Kate changed her name and received a new passport.

When I explained what happened, I felt like I had shit in Kristie's sundae. Despite the ridiculousness we had already put her through, Kristie agreed to go back and look again. No dice. She said she looked through all the boxes we thought it might be in and even in some that there was no earthly way the passport would have ended up there. No dice.

Whatever. We're not giving up. We are on the internet and considering using a Passport Expediting service that is almost certainly a scam. Who cares if we suffer identity theft? WE'RE GOING TO CANCUN!!!!!

I decide to the call the Passport Service Line myself and see if I have better luck than Kate. After going through the phone tree a little bit, I hit zero because nothing is working and I wasn't sure if Kate had tried this method. By some miracle, I'm connected to an actual person after a short wait. I explain the situation and am told that she can send an emergency notification to the Detroit agency (we are given a level 2 status on the emergency scale out of 5 with 1 being a life or death emergency) and if they are able to, they will fit us in.

We assemble all the documentation that we think we need and then realize Kate is going to have to get new passport photos taken. We rush out to AAA at 4:50 and are just in time. We get the pictures taken (possibly not Kate's greatest portrait but we were very happy to have gotten there in time) and as we exit, they lock the doors behind us.

Shortly thereafter, Kate leaves to drive to AA to spend the night with a friend (thank you, friend) so she can be in Detroit in the morning to hover outside the Passport Agency all day in case they call. If not, we still have the option of going to the storage facility and ripping through all the boxes. (You'll notice that Kate went alone to Michigan....I didn't lose my passport and I'm a bad husband.)

This morning, as I'm typing up this fantastic blog entry, Kate calls me. She's calling to say that she got her passport, right? No. Well, then surely she's calling to tell me that she's on her way to the Agency to get her passport. Nope. The agency has not called yet. Kate doesn't know what to do - wants to cry. I tell Kate I'll call the Passport service line and ask them WTF is going on? This is not my forte but I call and manage to speak to a person again. I explain the situation and am told that there is nothing else they can do for us. I'm told that Kate will receive a call if someone with an appointment cancels or doesn't show up. I ask if there's anything else that can be done or if there is a direct number for Detroit that I can call. There's no direct phone number to the Detroit agency I'm told. Can you transfer me to someone in Detroit? No. I'm essentially told that there are no phones in Metro Detroit. Wonderful.

I call Kate back to tell her the bad news. She hasn't been inside the agency yet because they don't allow cell phones in the building and she didn't want to miss the call or just leave her phone sitting on the sidewalk in Downtown Detroit. I suggest that she wait for M (with whom she stayed and who works in Detroit) to take her lunch break and have her hold her cell phone while she goes to cry in the lobby until someone takes pity on her. And if that doesn't work, she still has the option of ripping up the contents of our storage unit. As I'm saying all this, Kate gets a phone call from a Michigan number. It's the Passport Agency! And they didn't just call to torment her! They're willing to see her!!!!

So, last I heard she was going to the agency to meet with someone and I can see no reason why they won't be able to accommodate her.

But, if not....

Anyone want to go to Cancun/Aruba with me?